Thursday, 30 April 2009

Oculolinctus: don't try this at home law-folk!

As I sit here in front of my laptop, shivering in my 'pyjamas', reading ' Foyles Further Philavery' for new words, I come across a few cracking words:

Oculolinctus - sexual arousal from licking one's partner's eyeball
I would advise any adventurous readers not to try this at home! I love the fact that there is actually a word for this, one of the strangest sexual practices I have ever heard of. (Not that I profess to know all there is to know about the frankly 'dodgy' sides of sex) Maybe this is some kind of upper class practice(?) It reeks of 'poshness'.

Eyes open or closed tonight dear?

Oggie/ Oggy - a slang term used in Cornwall for a pasty
As soon as I came across this word, that famous football chant came to mind. I really don't care much for football(sorry I'm more a cricket fan personally) and thus do not know what it means so I apologise in advance if it's offensive. So now "Oggy Oggy Oggy. Oye Oye Oye" becomes "Pasty Pasty Pasty, Oye Oye Oye" the chant of the hungry...

Moronolexicophobia - a fear of daft dictionaries
Like Collins'?

Hen-hussy - a man who meddles with women's affairs
I don't think I need comment on this one

Anemophobia - the fear of wind or drafts
Most of my journey's on public transport are filled with anemophobic moments. Confined spaces like the underground at the height of 'rush hour' in particular are what I'm referring to.

What an educational morning spent perusing FP, www. I'm off to continue skipping amongst the daisies and tarting up my CV...

Toodle pip



Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Skipping amongst the daisies

Wotcha www? After an amazing weekend with my pals from the bookshop, I am still on that high today. That or the Red Bull I had earlier. Anyhoo, I was just catching up on my legal news and stumbled across this article.

Director disqualifications reaches record high by Michael Herman

"A record 1,252 company bosses were disqualified from acting as directors in the last financial year in a sign that the Government is toughening its stance towards individual business executives. The number of directors disqualified was up 9 per cent from 1,145 in the previous financial year, according to figures from the Insolvency Service. The average length of disqualification also reached a record level, rising 12 per cent to 6.5 years in 2008-09. Disqualification orders, which are made against directors of insolvent companies, ban individuals from serving as directors or taking part in the creation or promotion of a limited company for up to 15 years..."

Surprisingly, I am fascinated by this article as I have long shunned Business and Company Law as I did not understand it. Now I think I can appreciate it a bit better. The statistics from the article are staggering and are sure to put prospective directors off the post. If anything I think this will stamp out malpractice and ensure that shareholders aren't being exploited and their
investments protected.

"...Of the 1,252 directors barred last year, 203 were disqualified for 10 or more years. All are entered on a public registry that can be searched freely on the Insolvency Service’s website."

Even more shocking was that the directors are listed on a public registry; named and shamed. I had to stifle a giggle at this one as it reminded me of the Sex Offenders Register.

(Not that this is a laughing matter however. I think I've definitely inherited the lawyer bug. You know that thing where you find yourself laughing at something so pedantic and trivial and absolutely UNFUNNY to most lay people but you and your learned friends will cackle at it? Yah.

Reminds me of a Property Law lecture in which Leo (I think) came out with a corker that tickles me to this day. The lecturer normally hands the register out before the start of the lecture and
then we'd sign the register and pass it on. However, during this lecture she had forgotten to hand it out. Some busy body in the crowd must have alerted her to this to which I think Leo said,

"Uh-Oh, we nearly had an 'UNregistered' situation here..."

Or words to that effect. The crowd was in stitches...the irony was that we were about to start studying UNREGISTERED LAND!

Ba dum dum pssh!!)

I wonder how long the directors' details will have to remain on this database for?



P.s. Feel strangely happy today...(wait for it) FOR NO REASON!

(Cartoon from

Monday, 27 April 2009

Easy on the bacon sandwiches...

So apparently, swine flu is on the rampage. I must be honest and say that this has put me right off my bacon sandwich this morning. Whilst I suppose I should try to rationalise things and say that it is probably unlikely to have infected my bacon; for now I will watch this develop on the news.

Some say scaremongering...I don't know



Friday, 24 April 2009

If you give them an inch...

I hate it when people try to take advantage of my easy-going nature. Family or no...



In a cold sweat

This morning I awoke with a jolt, trying to shake out any memory of what I was dreaming about last night but to no avail. Leo. I sat on the toilet (doing nothing) for about 20 minutes this morning trying to collect my thoughts, thus resulting in a ring of shame on my derriere. I've contemplated contacting him again but what's the point? I've sent him 3 emails in the last year to receive no response. Not emails talking about the past; 'Happy New Year', 'I'm offering you an olive branch' and 'hello stranger' Clearly, he doesn't want to speak to me.


So why for that split (second) 20 minutes did I think about contacting him? Why? I haven't done it (Thank G-d) and I don't think I will now I have recollected my thoughts but I seriously question my decision-making processes sometimes. I promised myself that the New Years' message would be the last so I'm sticking to it. I'm not even interested in him in that way anymore so why all of a sudden am I dreaming about him?! Pah!


Onto a humble day of applications, blog surfing and who knows...



Thursday, 23 April 2009

CBC gets the sniffles

Today, I can proudly and most excitedly announce that after months of slow reading I have finally finished The Shining (by Stephen King). I am a little disappointed with the ending; it seems all too abrupt. I thoroughly enjoyed the journey though. It is one of those books that is incredibly detailed to the point where it not only described in detail the surroundings in which the story took place, but also the thought processes and psychic commentary involved. Heavy heavy going.

I also read an unpublished book called 'I Do Not Come To You By Chance' by Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani yesterday, which was an interesting, funny and sad insight into the world of the Nigerian email scam...the 419. I loved the way in which the author developed the characters and the fact that my feeling toward them changed so dramatically from chapter to chapter. I think it just illustrates how poverty can influence the most law-abiding person into getting involved in desperate(and illegal) situations. (image from

Currently, I am finishing off 'Grotesque' by Natsuo Kirino; part of my 'Japanese phase'. After this, I cannot wait to get stuck into the next instalment of the No.1 Ladies Detective Agency. I have already read seven of these books, watched the one-off episode last year and watched the entire series this year. I have only listened to one of the radio podcasts on Radio 6/7 but according to one of the customers who came into work a few weeks ago, the podcasts were more true to the books that the television series. To be perfectly honest, I didn't care much for the podcast I listened to although it was VERY funny.

Seem to have slight verbal diarrhoea today...

There was also an article posted on Times Online today which was rather interesting:

How can ethnic minorities reach the top of the profession?
Frances Gibb

"Baroness Scotland of Asthal could be forgiven if she saw no problem. Britain’s first black, first woman holder of the post of Attorney-General is a living example of diversity in the legal profession. But, as with women political leaders, is she a one-off?

There is one black High Court judge and none in the Court of Appeal or House of Lords. In the High Court, the only black ethnic minority judge is Mrs Justice Dobbs. “People blame me,” the Attorney-General says. “They say I shouldn’t have gone into politics” — the implication, and likelihood, being that she would have risen to the upper judicial ranks, setting a precedent there rather than in government..."

Gibb paints a very interesting picture of just how few black lawyers 'at the top of their game' there are. The article also suggests that this number is further diminished when considering the numbers of black women there are in the profession. Interesting stuff.

I had better go indulge in a cup of the best and get on with some applications. I can feel the RSI in my fingers already...



p.s. Horrid hayfever has begun already!

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

The Darling 'Buds' of ...well April

Good morning www. I had to get in there before that statement became redundant and it ceased to be morning. Gosh. I woke up to the slightly camp tones of Matthew Wright on Channel 5. Good show as per usual.

Prior to the announcement of Darling's budget (and especially seeing as I am not as politically versed as I would like) I had been scouring Times Online for some 'light' and came across the following unrelated story:

MPs to get extra £150 a day for turning up

Pity the same principle could not be applied to law students, giving them £150 for each application for pupillage/ training contract application they made...if only.

So on to enjoy the rest of my day (kitty style) commencing with the ever glamorous task of defrosting my freezer (or more like cleaning up the sodden remnants of my freezer) and then onto shopping for replacements of said contents...all in the day of an aspiring lawyer




P.s. Mmmm, non sequitur...
(Cartoon can be found at Permission was sought before posting this)

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Ailurophobics not welcome...

So upon reading Barmaid's blog about her current legal- application -induced illness, I have come to the harsh realisation that I too have the training contractivum strain of this dreadful illness. If you are a law student and you feel that you are suffering the symptoms posted here:

then don't suffer in silence... (and be wary of Frank's advice)

This morning however, after the goings on of last night, including several gallons of tears and scarily swollen eyes (currently they are slits), I have made a pact to be more proactive. Seems my actions of late aren't pleasing my family. So my whole life I have played nicely but now I need to badger people into giving me a job. I don't WANT to work in Tesco, Asda, Sainsbury's or Morrisons and no offence to anyone who works there; they're fine establishments. I just want a sodding legal job.

A mere ruptuary like myself. Fancy that...



Monday, 20 April 2009

Hai, soo desu...CBC learns Japanese

So currently, I am so stressed, I am literally shaking. For reasons I won't go into www, I am now asking what next? A bit of a glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel is all I'm asking for. Even the jobs where I am offering to work for free aren't responding! Come on law firms...we can't all have gone to Oxbridge with 1sts and commendations and do work in small African villages in our spare time whilst single handedly solving world hunger. Give a normal person a chance! Sometimes, the relentless stream of applications with NO response from anyone is annoying and downright rude. Do recruiters not realise that there is a person behind those emails and phonecalls? I'm not even talking about Training Contract Applications at the moment either; paralegal work, work experience, frippin' toilet cleaning...

*and exhales*

I think I need a cup of tea and a pie. My patience is wearing thin but I'm not giving up even though the bastards are wearing me down!




Thursday, 16 April 2009

It's Un 'Lykke Li' to be a sunny day today

So www, at 11.55 a.m. I am still in my pyjamas (It's all glamour and glitz in the legal world kids) scouring the legal vacancy pages for something to apply to. So far today, made one application which I feel is an achievement for the day thus, woo hoo! However, I come across a story on the news which makes me chuckle:

Probe into court 'garlic' attack
(BBC News Story)
(Link to Video - BBC News)

I'll say no more really, speaks for itself. And we wonder why so much time is being wasted in court proceedings; it's no wonder when we have smelly courts to contend with!

Well, I probably should twaddle off to do something more productive with my day so here she goes...!



Tuesday, 7 April 2009


This may possibly be one of the latest posts I have ever done, even though it's not that late. I just...can't...sleep.

Seems like today was one of those days at work in which all the mentally unstable people in my area seemed to materialise there in the space of a day! Odd, odd day to say the least. Let's just say the evening got even more ridiculous (and not in a good way)

On the upside though, Foyle's Philavery and Further Philavery for 99 pence is a bargain!
B-A-R-G-A-I-N. I will be posting some of my new found favourite words from those glorious texts in due course.

I'm going to try to stay awake for as long as feasible as I just can't and won't go to sleep yet :(



Friday, 3 April 2009

"I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all..."

Today, Freddy Mercury's words ring in my ears. Don't worry www, it's not the onset of a murderous streak although I am coming to the end of reading 'The Shining' after several months(!) so that may have influenced my song choice of the day. I don't know really. Sometimes I feel like my life is an out of body experience and that one day I will rejoin my body and begin living this life I have been observing from afar for 22 odd years.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'll ever be happy with my life...

Only time will tell