A bit of an anti-climax...

Feeling a bit down in the dumps today. Yesterday was the last day of term / law school and it just ended...BAM...thank you very much, I'll have those locker keys back...BYE! Felt like a horrible break up or something! Very strange. No "friends" around to wish good luck, good bye or good riddance to. Very odd state of affairs indeed. Ohh well, have to swot up for PCFS on Monday...endless fun

CBC

xx

The next chapter is almost in sight

Coming to the end of the LPC now. Thoroughly enjoyed it to say the least. Haven't got a training contract yet BUT I am pacing myself on that front...tarting up my CV and getting a bit more experience before I dive head-first into a legal career. I guess I have my age on my side...that and the fact that I havent had a break from education since the age of 5 (I am now 21 going on 22) so I think I can take a little break before it gets heavy.

I think the mind is such a powerful tool. I'm feeling like I'm really getting over Leo now. I realised today actually. Months ago when the existence of Fee-line (Leo's girlfriend) came to my attention during a class, I thought that 'event' that would really help me get over this thing once and for all would be to see them together. I thought about this 'event' over a period of time and Lo and freeking Behold it happened last week. Sod's law/coincidence, I don't know what it was but I do know that it was the best thing that's happened to me since all this crap. Months of being silly and 'caught up' in this bloke and then seeing them together, I realised that I really didn't care about him as much as I thought I did. What a relief...Fee-line seemed a pleasant girl so as I said before, I'm so happy for them (without getting carried away of course). Finally, CBC can move on!

Good Night

Till next time

CBC

xx


P.s. I'm getting a bit annoyed by the apprentice now but again, law of the sod means that I can't stop watching the darned thing!

A kiss from a policeman

Just watching 'My Family'. I love Robert Lindsay. He's such an awkward, politically incorrect bumbling so-and-so...but I love his character all the same. Quiet, reasonably interesting day today. Made some notes on Sexual Offences and Forensic Evidence today so I feel slightly more productive.

On to the Friday night entertainment...dans la chambre

Television bien sur!

CBC

xx

Tax, tax and more tax

Man I love tax. IHT, CGT, Income tax *sigh* can you sense my enthusiasm? Haha, no it's not that bad really. Lovely day in Londres today...apart from the abundance of flesh! My goodness, a bit of sun and everyone goes a bit crazy. Hey, I don't blame them...it's not very often the weather is this nice in Britain but still, is denim hotpants really appropriate for law school? Maybe I'm just bitter because I can't get my legs out. Heh.

Aie! Advocacy assessment next Friday. Better get rehearsing and dust my suit off. I love seeing the guys all dressed up in their suits! Saw Leo in his today...and did a mini double-take (nearly walking into the barriers and he looked amused, or so I think since my eye sight isn't what it was!) I'm starting to wage bets on who speaks to the other first now. It's been AGES! Me, 20-1 anyone? Bloody hope not.

Well, I think I'm going to put the kettle on...

CBC

xx

P.s. This blog is painting me out to be a bit of a tea addict now. Couldn't be more true!

"The moronisisation of TV is complete"

I love LBC! I heard this line on LBC last night. The presenter whose name I can't quite remember...Clive Bull? Iain Lee? used the phrase to describe the changing face of television. He was remarking on the fact that in the past, British Television and newsreaders, relied on one man (or woman) sitting down delivering a piece to camera. Now he says the frantic hand gestures and funky camera angles are used to correspond with our alleged shortening attention spans and growing stupidity. He reckons that we are being taken to be morons...hence the phrase ..."the moronisisation of TV is now complete..." Love it!

I find it pretty funny that being a potential lawyer...well I like to think so anyway... that I rarely post about my legal adventures at law school. I guess I've been slightly inspired by the fictional "Baby Barista" account of a trainee barrister on Times Online. I also saw how many legal brains also published blogs and got thinking...hey, why don't I also talk more about my legal life? Can't say I'm satisfied with my recent set of law school examinations...nonetheless, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

I feel I should apologise for my last post. I was in a different place. You know...reminiscing is sometimes a good thing but I think I did that a little too much that day and so brought a whole lot of my feelings for Leo back. Then today whilst sitting on the train on the way back from law school, Ipod in my ears, it got me thinking...obviously I just need to get a grip on the situation. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise when someone wants nothing to do with you regardless of what you've done (or not done). Not everyone will like you and you just have to get on with it. This folks, I will have to accept in relation to this boy. Besides...this really won't do in my quest to become a successful lawyer.

Anyway, I am saddened by this Chelsea shooting story regarding the barrister involved in the shootout yesterday. Just reinforced the sheer stress faced by young bright people in the legal profession and was slightly unnerving. Surely everyone will deal with their problems in a different way but it is really really sad that a young professional like this man succumbed to the pressures of life at the top...This quote sums it up really,

“I think a lot of people working in the law will see this as another
barrister who has cracked under the pressure.”

Makes one think twice really...what am I getting myself into?!

CBC

xx

[You can read the article online at :http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1934958/Chelsea-shooting-Barrister]

Get out of my head...

Oh Gosh...I feel crappy feelings rearing their ugly heads again. I'm so annoyed at myself! I thought I was getting better but to put it politely...I'm feeling shite now. Funny how I felt fine earlier this morning. Now I fear I may be slipping into this thing again. I will fight it...I MUST.

It's just ruddy annoying that one person can have so much control over your emotions even when you don't think they do...and they probably don't think they do. Seriously, I feel like I'm going mad. Like I'm going to burst out either crying (unlikely) or have an outburst (more likely) when I next see Leo. Jeebus. I just don't know what to do anymore. Get out of my head please. Stop intercepting my thoughts especially when I'm trying to work.

Sometimes I wish I had never met him...then again, I'd never have known what it was like to be happy in the truest sense of the word; even if for the shortest while.

Argh!

Back to work. I fear this is my most angsty post. I hope that this will be the last ounce of angst I inflict. Maybe a nice cup of tea will have a calming effect...

CBC

xx

'Semaine, Sans Toi' (et vingt-quatre plus)

(http://lolcats.com/view/9043/)

What a lovely morn. I'm hungry...Instead of working I'm watching reruns of Friends and Will and Grace. Noughty Noughty...as in NIL work done! Grrr.

Just to post a poem or three I like really. I'm working on a few at the moment and I know I'm amateurish compared to many but we all have to start somewhere right? My time is not today...LOL...well let's see.

One poem I quite like today is

'How Could I Have Doubted' by Leonard Cohen

I stopped looking for you
I stopped waiting for you
I stopped dying for you
and I started dying for myself
I aged rapidly
I became fat in the face
and soft in the gut
and forgot that I'd ever loved you
I was old
I had no focus, no mission
I wandered around eating and buying
bigger and bigger clothes
and forgot why I hated
every long moment that was mine to fill
Why did you even come back to me tonight
I can't even get off this chair
Tears run down my cheeks
I am in love again
I can live like this

Wow! Powerful imagery. I love Leonard Cohen's poetry (I have a book, well a compliation of his poetry that I had bought to give to Leo at Christmas Time but incidentally, decided to keep! Heh.) I like it when you read a poem that makes you feel and taste and smell the things being
described. Escapism. Precisely why I love Harry Potter so much. Well I'm being brave and posting a poem I literally came up with on the spot so let's see how this one goes...

'Cubicle' by CBC

Is it ironic that,
the one place that I feel safe
away from your knowing blue eyes
childlike giggles,
and your voice,
that voice-
is not mine to claim?

Locking the door,
taking a seat and
placing my bag on the grey tiled floor

(flitted with flecks of white, glass perhaps; I imagine them to be diamonds on a good day.
Which is rare.)

I exhale noisily.
I know that I must be quick. Just a minute
Or two, to reorganise thoughts scrambled, until

I have to leave that cubicle,
my temporary refuge,
awaiting its next tenant
but only for a moment, maybe.

I'm open to suggestions on that one! I made it up on the spot and I'm a bit nervous as it's the first one I've put on here. Hopefully lots more to come. I'm a beginner so be gentle :)

May just toddle off now as I was hungry in the beginnning and still am so will be sure to post soon!

CBC

xx

P.s. I've edited this post...so no legal proceedings can be brought against me in the future when this blog hits the tabloids. One can dream...

Musings of a Sunday Evening...

(Image from :http://lolcats.com/view/12648/)


Crumbs, well I haven't blogged in a while. Been rather neglectful of this blog lately. Not a huge amount to document as such. Been a quiet weekend this weekend. I've decided that I officially want to get back into crafting now...whether it be soap making or knitting, I just need to make something or paint something...you know?

Really want to try something new...expand my horizons a bit. I've been so desperate to go Fencing for the past 3 years but never been able to yet...until now! I'm going to bug those people until zey give me a chance dammit! En Garde!! Heh.

I love all the rain we've been having in London lately. Whether that makes me a weirdo or a hopeless romantique (which I suspect is the former more than the latter) I just love the rain. It's so romantic and makes me feel all cosy even though I'm being trampled by sweaty business men in ill -fitting shiny suits or being splashed by inconsiderate cab drivers, there's something quintessentially English about rain. Not that I'd really know...being from the Caribbean and all, but I hazard a guess at this.

Recently, I've been enjoying a lot of sushi too...my new found coolness :P. I love that crazy Wasabi rush that comes up and out of your nose when you least expect. Must make a mental note not to go on a date in a sushi restaurant...only Lord knows the freaky gurning that goes on when the Wasabi hits my nose! Leo's allergic to seafood that reminds me. Yes. I did say Leo...and before you ask...no it's still back to square 1. Nothing has changed. No better than the last time I posted. Overreact much Leo? Hmm, I can't work out men. I really can't. You try to be civil and they take it as a sign that you're coming onto them! Sheesh...though saying all this, I still try to be nice. That's my problem. I try. I care. I could be a bitch...(he would probably argue that I am already one, but we'll leave the mud-slinging to Jeremy Kyle shall we?) well more of a bitch about it. Who cares. I can hardly remember what happened. Well I can but I have more important things to stress about really. I just don't understand why he's being so totally weird about stuff. That's what bugs me. Not so much the "I can't do this anymore" thing...Hmm. I think it's okay to be scared but DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS. Every lawyer knows not to rely on assumptions...he should know better...lol. RANT OVER!

Anyway, moving swiftly on, I've got a few good books lately. Well borrowed from the library but good as new. I'm reading "Jane Austen's Guide to Dating" by Lauren Henderson...both an educational and insightful read! Also I'm reading "Duppy Conqueror" by Ferdinand Dennis. Really good historical read encapsulating all the trials and prejudices faced by black people and tinged with traditions spanning Jamaica, Britain and Africa ultimately. I'm in the Britain phase at the moment. The 'Island Club' being the central location for the time being. So engrossed in that book! Got another book by John Grisham and one by Tess Gerritsen to get my fangs sunken into. Slurrrrrrrrrrrrp! :)

Had a "Mean Girls" night last night! I think every girl needs one now and then. Bit of teenage frolics and frippery with some man candy thrown in for good measure.

"Jason you are such a skeeze..."

"That is so fetch"

Mioaw! Not the best lines but one's which circle my head whilst I'm trying to consolidate PC (WPEP). Haha there's an abbreviation for you www!

Well my tea is getting cold. I must depart. I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of Schott Part 2 even though a source has informed me that it's not particularly new. I still want it!

Kitty say "Miao bye!"

CBC

xx

P.s. Poems I like coming soon!